Essential Marriage

Website Editor • September 9, 2020

From Pastor Ryan Lewis' sermon on September 6, 2020:

Essential and non-essential. The past six months have taught us to evaluate nearly everything in our lives through this lens.


What's important? What's not as important?


What do you need? What can you do without?


As we consider our lives, let us not neglect our marriages. Investing in your marriage is the most essential investment you can make, above any other human relationship.


As we have been studying through Matthew, Pastor Ryan recalled verses 22:37-39: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."


How often do you think of your spouse as your nearest neighbor?


From the very beginning of creation, God intended marriage to be a visual display of the Gospel. Our purpose in them is to put Christ's love for the church on display, and to advance the kingdom of God.


You must remember that purpose and reset your mission for marriage.



Reset your expectations

The Bible teaches that "ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23) and that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:8).


What expectation does Christ have for us when we don't love Him as we should? --> "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not by your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).


We are to love as Christ loves, unconditionally.


Your expectations for your spouse cannot turn into conditions.  A married person who is kingdom-minded gives 100% to their spouse, even if they receive nothing in return.



Reset your definition of love

Love is not a feeling. It is action.


1 Corinthians 13 famously tells us, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."


We must CHOOSE to love because we made the commitment to be married.


If you want to live out your mission in marriage, you first need to realize that YOU are your own biggest marital problem.


One of the ways we teach this in re|engage is for you to visualize yourself inside a circle. The person inside the circle is the only person you can control.... and if YOU are the only person you can control, how can YOU work on changing yourself? How can YOU be obedient to what God would have you do in your marriage?


Once inside the circle, here are three questions to ask: (1) What must it be like to be married to me?; (2) Have I put my spouse in the position of God?; (3) Have I truly recognized my need for Jesus? (Titus 3:3-5, Eph. 4:32, 1 Peter 5:8-9)



Re-engage with your spouse

Here's how:

  1. Renew your devotion to Christ.
  2. Confession. (James 5:16)
  3. Be intentional with one another. 
  4. Marriages take more effort than we think they should.
  5. Your marriage should be the human relationship you pursue most; above kids, work, and hobbies.
  6. Pursue friendship with one another.
  7. Pray with one another.
  8. Consistently see the investment in your marriage as essential.


Ask yourself: how is the way that you are handling your marriage any different from an atheist?


God has a plan and a purpose for your marriage. As kingdom people, let's not forget our MISSION and strive to be DOERS of the word, and not hearers only. (James 1:22)



--


If you have been convicted that you need to lean into your marriage, great news! Our next round of re|engage starts TONIGHT, Sept. 9. Click here for more info and to sign up.


Watch this sermon, here.

Everything We Need

July 29, 2025
Notes from Ky Martin's sermon on Sunday, July 27, 2025. Sermon text: 2 Peter 1:3-4 We have everything we need for a godly life. Sentence has: 68 words 9 prepositional phrases 5 dependent clauses God called us. “By His divine power” The word here is summon Like Lazarus, come forth. English readers are apt to understand calling in terms of an invitation that can be accepted or rejected. Peter has something deeper in mind. Christ’s call is effective, awakening and creating faith. -Thomas R. Schreiner 1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. By revealing Christ to us. “Through the knowledge of Him” Side note, ambiguity: The ambiguity in the text indicates that Peter does not clearly distinguish between God and Christ, which indicates that God and Christ were venerated equally. - Thomas R. Schreiner Excuses are Eliminated We need to note that this comes to us by grace, but also that we have a part to play here. Effort is not a 4 letter word. You have no excuse for: Pornography- You have everything you need. Substance Abuse- You have everything you need. Pride- You have everything you need Laziness- You have everything you need Anger- You have everything you need. Prayer and Scripture Reading- You have everything you need. Evangelism- You have everything you need. He’ll go on to mention supplementing He has given us what we need for godliness now, and He promises us even greater things to come. We will share in Christ’s Divine Nature 2 Pe 1:4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature Unusual word… The “divine nature” (Theos) appears only here and in Acts where Paul addresses the Areopagus an odd work choice and would have appealed to his pagan readers. Acts 17:29 Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. Redefining what it means to become like God. Christ shared in our nature that we might share in His. 1 John 3:2 Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. In 1:3, it’s through the knowledge of Christ that we are called to Him. Here, we see that a fuller revelation of Christ will conform us even more fully into His likeness. How so? Purity Immortality Restoration to Eden Christians also share in God’s immortality. They are not trapped in this world. Though ‘perishable’ now, Christians will be raised ‘imperishable’ -Paul Gardner Glory John 17:22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, We have everything we need for a godly life. English readers are apt to understand calling in terms of an invitation that can be accepted or rejected. Peter has something deeper in mind. Christ’s call is effective, awakening and creating faith. -Thomas R. Schreiner 1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. The ambiguity in the text indicates that Peter does not clearly distinguish between God and Christ, which indicates that God and Christ were venerated equally. - Thomas R. Schreiner Excuses are Eliminated We will share in Christ’s Divine Nature Acts 17:29 Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. 1 John 3:2 Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. Purity Immortality Christians also share in God’s immortality. They are not trapped in this world. Though ‘perishable’ now, Christians will be raised ‘imperishable.’ -Paul Gardner Glory John 17:22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one. Discipleship Questions: 2 Peter 1:3 says we’ve been given everything we need for life and godliness… Do you find that verse encouraging, challenging or both? Are there any areas of your walk where you struggle to believe that you already have everything you need for success? Do you ever make excuses to yourself or others for a lack of godliness? If yes, explain. How much work does it take to live as a Christian? What does it mean that we will be “partakers in the divine nature”?

The Genuine Gospel

July 21, 2025
Notes from Lance Shumake's sermon on Sunday, July 20, 2025. Sermon text: 2 Peter 1:1-2  Peter is warning us about counterfeit teaching and false teachers The genuine gospel came from Jesus through His apostles —servant (humility and honor) —apostle (called, unique, sent) The genuine gospel is just as precious to us today —received and believed “How does someone become a Christian? One person might say, ‘Because I believe,’ and another, ‘Because God chose me.’ According to Peter, both ways of stating it are correct. On the one hand, we believe. It is a fundamental definition of a Christian that he or she is a ‘believe-er’; that he or she ‘has faith’ But Peter also knows that it is not our feeble faith that holds us close to God. It is God who does all the holding, and that is the reality behind the word received.” —R. C. Lucas and Christopher Green, The Message of 2 Peter & Jude The genuine gospel is centered on the person and work of Jesus —God —Savior —Christ —Lord “This fourfold description of Jesus is important because it puts him at the focal point of human history. As God, he guarantees that his words and his works cannot be replaced or revoked; as Christ, he fulfills all the Old Testament promises; as Savior, he died on the cross for our salvation in the past, present and future; and as Lord he claims the right to our individual love and obedience—notice how Peter calls him our Lord.” —R. C. Lucas and Christopher Green, The Message of 2 Peter & Jude The genuine gospel transforms us as we grow in knowledge of Jesus —grace and peace multiplied Discipleship Questions: Why is false teaching so dangerous? How does remembering and focusing on the true gospel help us stand against false teaching? In what ways is the gospel just as precious to us as it was to the apostles? How do you relate to Jesus as God, Savior, Christ, and Lord? What is the difference between knowing about Jesus and knowing Him?

The God of All Grace

July 16, 2025
Notes from Zach Snow's sermon on Sunday, July 13, 2025. Sermon text: 1 Peter 5:8-14 Why is the lion roaring? Wouldn’t it be a better strategy to be quiet…subtle…sneaky, in an attempt to “devour” Christians? I think that Peter, led by the Holy Spirit, was very intentional with his description here of the devil being a roaring lion. Went into a rabbit hole on a lion's roar…there are some spiritual applications to these: Can reach up to 114 decibels…almost as loud as a jet engine taking off They roar for social reasons (territory, create bonds, locate other members of their pride) as well as for purposes of intimidation. One of the primary purposes of the lion's roar is to strike fear in the heart of their prey. The lion will always start with a psychological advantage Fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hatred - these things can absolutely paralyse you spiritually The lion is not necessarily trying to kill you, but to destroy your faith Prayer: Be sober-minded - Have a clear and self disciplined mind - Titus 2 Exercise self control in thoughts, words, and action this is the 3rd time Peter has said this to us in 1 Peter - 1:13, 4:7 - it’s a call to remain alert and focused Being sober-minded means waging war against the things that are detrimental to the mind: fear, hatred, anxiety, depression, anger I believe these are specific things the enemy uses to derail our mental health and cause us to take our guard down Be watchful - this is the same word that Jesus used in the garden before he was arrested and crucified - this is a call to pray Prayers for others - Eph. 6:18 - Ephesians 6:18 - [18] praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, Prayers for yourself - James 1:5 - 5 j If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. So here’s the question… Do you believe in prayer? How much do you trust that God can do the things that you are not able to do? Do you trust God with the big stuff AND the small stuff? Discipleship Questions: 1.) In your personal life, what does being sober minded and watchful look like to you? 2.) Who are the people who help you stand firm in your faith the most? 3.) As a CG look at each of the points of the Theology of Suffering and find Scripture to support each one of those statements: God is ALWAYS good God is ALWAYS enough God will ALWAYS love you 4.) Discuss ways that the God of all grace has restored, confirmed, strengthened, and established you.
Show More