Essential Marriage

Website Editor • September 9, 2020

From Pastor Ryan Lewis' sermon on September 6, 2020:

Essential and non-essential. The past six months have taught us to evaluate nearly everything in our lives through this lens.


What's important? What's not as important?


What do you need? What can you do without?


As we consider our lives, let us not neglect our marriages. Investing in your marriage is the most essential investment you can make, above any other human relationship.


As we have been studying through Matthew, Pastor Ryan recalled verses 22:37-39: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."


How often do you think of your spouse as your nearest neighbor?


From the very beginning of creation, God intended marriage to be a visual display of the Gospel. Our purpose in them is to put Christ's love for the church on display, and to advance the kingdom of God.


You must remember that purpose and reset your mission for marriage.



Reset your expectations

The Bible teaches that "ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23) and that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:8).


What expectation does Christ have for us when we don't love Him as we should? --> "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not by your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).


We are to love as Christ loves, unconditionally.


Your expectations for your spouse cannot turn into conditions.  A married person who is kingdom-minded gives 100% to their spouse, even if they receive nothing in return.



Reset your definition of love

Love is not a feeling. It is action.


1 Corinthians 13 famously tells us, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."


We must CHOOSE to love because we made the commitment to be married.


If you want to live out your mission in marriage, you first need to realize that YOU are your own biggest marital problem.


One of the ways we teach this in re|engage is for you to visualize yourself inside a circle. The person inside the circle is the only person you can control.... and if YOU are the only person you can control, how can YOU work on changing yourself? How can YOU be obedient to what God would have you do in your marriage?


Once inside the circle, here are three questions to ask: (1) What must it be like to be married to me?; (2) Have I put my spouse in the position of God?; (3) Have I truly recognized my need for Jesus? (Titus 3:3-5, Eph. 4:32, 1 Peter 5:8-9)



Re-engage with your spouse

Here's how:

  1. Renew your devotion to Christ.
  2. Confession. (James 5:16)
  3. Be intentional with one another. 
  4. Marriages take more effort than we think they should.
  5. Your marriage should be the human relationship you pursue most; above kids, work, and hobbies.
  6. Pursue friendship with one another.
  7. Pray with one another.
  8. Consistently see the investment in your marriage as essential.


Ask yourself: how is the way that you are handling your marriage any different from an atheist?


God has a plan and a purpose for your marriage. As kingdom people, let's not forget our MISSION and strive to be DOERS of the word, and not hearers only. (James 1:22)



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If you have been convicted that you need to lean into your marriage, great news! Our next round of re|engage starts TONIGHT, Sept. 9. Click here for more info and to sign up.


Watch this sermon, here.

Freed to Serve

April 28, 2025
Notes from Scott Sutton's sermon on Sunday, April 27, 2025. Sermon text: 1 Peter 2:11-17 This is the beginning of a section addressing how God's people now function in this world. It begins with aliens and exiles and continues with servants, wives, husbands, and finally, all of you. 1.) Our identity defines our actions. We are sojourners and exiles (temporary, passing through, not at home) We have a heavenly citizenship Actions We abstain from the passions of the flesh Keep conduct among the Gentiles honorable (our conduct is for the benefit of other people) Honorable conduct wins souls… sojourners, exiles, and soul winners “Peter’s point is that believers’ behavior creates a context in which people will listen to God’s word. He is not teaching that ‘good deeds’ in themselves convert unbelievers, but they establish an environment for the Gospel-word to do so.” -Barnett 2.) Our identity defines our expectations (Unbelievers will respond to honorable conduct in 1 of 2 ways) Some will speak evil against us as though we are evildoers Some will see our good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation 3.) Our identity defines our view of authority (Does anyone here ever just want to do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it? That’s why laws exist) Be subject to every human institution (for the Lord's sake) This includes governors and emperors (no distinction between good/bad) The will of God... by doing good, we silence the ignorance of foolish people 4.) Our identity defines our view of freedom Don't use freedom as a cover-up for evil We are freed to serve God Honor, Love, and Fear Discipleship Questions: 1.)Why is it so important to understand our identity before talking about our behavior? 2.) How might this reality impact your parenting? For real, what are 3 ways that you can apply that this week? 3.) How is good conduct a form of evangelism? 4.) What do these verses say that we can expect from others? 5.) How can we honor a government that isn't always honorable? Seriously, what are 5 things we should immediately stop doing and 5 things we should immediately start doing? 6.) What are some tangible ways to honor others? Love the brotherhood? Fear God? Honor the Emperor? 7.) Should we fear the Emperor?

Cornerstone

April 22, 2025
Notes from Ky Martin's sermon on Sunday, April 20, 2025. Sermon text: 1 Peter 2:4-10 Everyone must accept or reject Jesus. He is the cornerstone. We choose to accept Him as the foundation of our lives or toss the truth aside. When we come to Jesus… We become part of His People 1 Pe 2:4-5 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. The cornerstone is The New Temple. From this we learn that following Christ entails joining his community, the church…The freelance Christian, who follows Jesus but is too good, too busy, or too self-sufficient for the church, is a walking contradiction. -Daniel M. Doriani We join a royal, holy, priesthood 1 Pet. 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Because of who Jesus makes us. We receive God’s mercy Fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement: he is a rebel who must lay down his arms….Now repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means undergoing a kind of death. Acts 17:30-31 The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, 31 because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.” Discipleship Questions: Why is it impossible to be neutral about Jesus? Why do you believe that Jesus truly is the Son of God? Do you ever have doubts about this? If yes, what are they? According to 1 Peter 2:9, who are we after we come to Christ? Why does Paul say (in 1 Corinthians) that if Christ is not risen, our faith is in vain?

Born Again

April 16, 2025
Notes from Scott Sutton's sermon on Sunday, April 13, 2025. Sermon text: 1 Peter 2:2-3 Why do our souls ache for certainty? We are so eager for certainty that we will look for it in all the wrong places. - Certainty in our Finances [show slide from news] - Certainty in our Jobs [Acts 17:24-27] - Certainty in our Health [Covid] - Certainty in our Abilities [Ecclesiastes 3:11 “God has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”] “Things that have never happened before are happening every day.” -Morgan Housel In these verses, God gives us what our souls ache for! 1.) You must be born again of imperishable seed - We have all been born of perishable seed o Impure souls o Disobedient to truth o Unloving insincerity toward others o Lack of loving effort o Impure hearts - We are withering grass and falling flowers - The imperishable seed is the living and abiding Word of God o Does not wither o Does not fall o Does not let us down o It remains forever o It MUST BE PREACHED! But still, how can we be certain that we have been born again? 2.) If you are born again, hope will be seen in your relationships When your relationship with God changes, God changes your relationships! - Sincere brotherly love - Love earnestly - Put away… o Malice o Deceit o Hypocrisy o Envy o All Slander 3.) If you are born again, hope will be seen in your appetite for God’s Word - Like newborn infants - Long for the pure spiritual milk Discipleship Questions: 1.) Where are some unhealthy places where you look for certainty? 2.) Why do you do that? 3.) What were some evidences of your perishable seed before you came to Christ? Any of that still lingering that needs to be repented from? 4.) Why does Peter call the Word of God the imperishable seed? 5.) In light of the text, how would you describe being "born again" to a 5-year-old? 6.) How has imperishable hope proven itself in your relationships? OR How might it if you lean into loving others earnestly? 7.) Why does Peter tell us that hope will be seen in our appetite for God's Word?
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