Reconciliation and Relationships
Summary of sermon on Matthew 18:15-20 from Deacon Steve Hay.
How we treat each other matters.
Over and over again throughout Matthew 18, Jesus reminds us of just that. Because we don’t live as isolated beings, our sin can and does affect others. It can even cause others to sin.
As Pastor Lance brought up last week, the lost sheep isn’t found and put into isolation with a “just you and Jesus” relationship. The goal is to find the lost sheep and return it to the safety of the flock. We need each other. We need a community of believers around us.
In our passage this week, Jesus gets incredibly practical and specific, using a metaphor to make His point.
He tells us that when conflict inevitably comes, how we deal with it may be more important than the conflict itself.
The Message translation tells it this way,
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him – work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer God’s forgiving love. Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is a yes in heaven, and a no on earth is a no in heaven. What you say is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all and make a prayer of it, My Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure I’ll be there.” - Matthew 18:15-20
There are a few things about reconciliation that we can ascertain from this passage:
Reconciliation isn’t a new concept. Earlier, Jesus spoke about when we offend a brother. In this passage, He speaks about when a brother sins against us. In both instances, it is always our responsibility to seek reconciliation first.
Reconciliation is a gospel issue.
Reconciliation is a command. In John 13:34, Jesus tells us, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
The purpose of reconciliation is to build the church and to preserve purity, peace and order, and love. This passage implies that difference of opinion, personality, and style of communication are not sins against us. The sin here is of a personal nature, for instance - slander, gossip, or false accusation.
When this happens, Jesus tells us to go directly to the person and settle it (if possible) just between the two affected parties. If the issue is not resolved, another trusted person should be brought along to help find resolution.
Reconciliation requires a posture of humility and forgiveness. Sometimes reconciliation doesn’t work out, but as Christians, we don’t give up. We don’t count the offending brother as an enemy, but as a lost sheep.
Reconciliation isn’t easy. We can’t ignore our own sin, nor should we sin when we confront it in others. (Leviticus 19:17-18; Ephesians 4:26-27)
When a conflict arises, we must be diligient in lifting the situation up to God in prayer. We must accept that it may not go according to plan and never stop praying for the errant brother.
Forgiveness is the heart of the matter.
“Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you.” - Matthew 6:13-15
We can’t reconcile on our own.
We need God and each other to make this happen.
